I really didn't think I could run. Really. My bad knee and all.  Somehow today I mustered enough energy to run after a very long day of stress at work. After the run; albeit on the treadmill I had an intensive workout with my trainer Drake from Snap.

The scale isn't moving much and I assume I'm building muscle or plateauing again. I think everyone here is having the same issue.  But I know I am doing the right things and this is the way my body acts.  I am extremely happy where I am now.  I tried on a pair of size eight slacks and they fit...a bit tight. I didn't buy them just yet.  I'm not sure when I will get down to the mid 130s, maybe in a month or two; but I will try.  I will be increasing my cardio as it seems to work for me. 

It is weird as when I lay down my bones are so prominent. For the first time I can actually wrap my arm around my back and scratch! 

Having been fat for such a long time has taken its toll. I have no fashion sense; really. I am choosing clothes that make me look awful.

Frumpy. Dumpy. Yucky.

Nothing looks right for my frame.  Yea, I know what you are all thinking....Like this is a world ending problem.  I am just trying to look somewhat professional for my job yet wanting to maintain a business casual attire which is permitted. Except for Friday when we have dress down days.

I have always leaned towards the khaki pants and polo top look. I like my tops a little longer but the misses tops aren't that long and the pants are way too high waisted for my frame. I was told clothes from the Gap may fit; but they are very expensive. I have tried TJ Maxx, Marshall's and Gabe's...with mixed results.

I'm a social worker...not a millionaire!

Turkey Jerky!

It is absolutely delicious. Low in carbs, salt, sugar. High in protein. Rather filling. Even Cosmo; my Jack Russell could not resist.  I'm wanting to make my own but don't own a dehydrator.  I have also made kale chips in the oven. They are a great source of dark green leafy veggies. Low in carbs and high in nutrients.  Why pay a small fortune for already made chips when they are so easy to bake?

Have a great weekend.

The three C's.  Chocolate.  Cookies.  Cake.

Not just any chocolate...Belgian and Dutch chocolate.
Home made peanut butter cookies.
Red velvet cake with chocolate fudge frosting.

Will I ever be able to partake of these delightful goodies again?  The answer is yes!  In moderation.

I am so close to my goal weight.  Then comes the re-feeding process.  One step at a time.  It all starts with extra potions of food that I normally consume. Then, when my weight remain stable for 30 days, extra portions of carbs.  Fruit is next.  Then pasta, rice, grains are next.  One step.

I'm doing this on my own without the benefit of an in-person meeting with a dietitian since my health insurance no longer covers nutritional therapy of any kind. So I have utilized the Internet to my advantage.

I may follow the Dukan program...the latter phases only.  The first two phases are extremely restrictive and I am way past that anyway. I will not regain my weight!  I will do the best that I can on vacation to resist temptation.

I just came home after my work out at SNAP.  I attended a work-related workshop today and sat most of the day. At lunch I went for a walk around Cleveland State. It was a lovely day for a walk.  But I had to come back to reality and the rest of the workshop.

I worked out some of my major muscle groups today at the gym.  But, I am so tired!  I managed to stay within my named calories today; albeit difficult.  I would have loved to inhale Jimmie John's subs, but maybe for another day.  Eating all that bread results in major weight gain.   I see what thin people eat and I am surprised why they don't weigh more. A medium sized sub has to be at least 500 calories. Sure, whole wheat bread is health; but is it really whole wheat?  Is the turkey low-fat? What about the salt content?  Don't forget the mayo!

I am better off brown-bagging my food. I do it all the time. I can control the calories, fat, sodium, and carbs.  Sure it takes time but it is the only way I know how to improve my health.

I can't wait to see the Marine demos tomorrow at Burke Lakefront Airport.  I have been attending demos, airshows, reenactments for many years, but have never seen the Marines like this. All week long they have been stationed in and around downtown Cleveland. On my lunchtime I have visited the static displays and had the nice Marines take my photo holding various weapons. The stuff they use to eliminate the terrorists and protect our freedom we so much enjoy. One of the huge machine guns I lifted with just one hand. The Marine Sgt. told me that everyone who had picked this up complained how heavy it was; but not you!  See what training does to a body!

I also am not ashamed for the first time in my life to have my photo taken. I am now thin. I feel thin and look healthy. I have not felt this way in thirty years!  My mind has finally caught up with my body.  It took a long time for this to happen.  I had such low self-esteem.  Not anymore.

Have a great weekend.

Yes, the Gordon Ramsey show.  I'm watching the show on the BBC America cable channel. This show makes me happy that I chose Social Work as a profession. But, I truly understand the family dynamics that are presented in every episode. It takes teamwork to change a failing business around. It also takes teamwork to make changes to your life.  Sure, I probably (should have, would have) could have managed to lose weight on my own, but in all probability...not!  I have lost and gained weight all my adult life but this is the first time I actually have help. And, it shows! 

Now for my own kitchen nightmares. Before the winter comes I tend to eat way too much and now that summer is around the corner I don't seem to have the energy to cook. Tonight for example, I purchased a ready made chicken.  I'm planning on at least two meals out of that very small bird. Add in some veggies and a salad and I'm done. But wait; there's more.  Strawberries and blueberries.  No pork rinds!

Also I'm making sure I drink enough water and sugar free Power-aid. I tend to become dehydrated in the heat, so water is very important.  Deep Park has a very delicious sparkling water in  berry, lemon, and lime flavors. very refreshing and no artificial flavors.

Just a bit over three weeks until the next weigh-in. I have a challenge for the group.  FIVE POUNDS!  I know if we all try hard we can drop five pounds in the next three weeks. 

I've given up on the pork rinds...they made me sick...if I can give up the pork...you all can drop the Doritos!

Have a great and healthy weekend.

Before I turn into Skeletor; I will now set my weight loss goal.  I am looking at a weight of 140.  I want to maintain a five pound range...up or down.  So now I would like to weigh anywhere between 135 through 145.

My biggest dilemma are tops.  I'm not used to wearing anything clingy.  This is a fear I will conquer. In due time.  I have a long torso and have an extremely difficult time. I just don't feel comfortable in short polo tops. I have resigned myself to shop in the mens' department to purchase size small in polo tops. This should not be. I wish someone out there would send my name into one of those make-over shows to help me get adjusted to my new body.  I'm not lying here, I have having such a horrible time.  I am not used to being thinner. My mind has not caught up with my body.

All the years of being overweight has ruined my body.  I did this to myself. No one force fed me.  I have probably twenty pounds if not more of lose skin that will never go away.  I am working my butt off in the gym five days a week and with the help of my trainer; Drake from SNAP I am determined to succeed to reach my goal.

There are some days I wish I could magically remove this loose skin. I have health insurance but this is considered cosmetic and not covered. Never mind that I have rid myself of diabetes. Never mind that I now cost my health insurance less in outlays. I'm not doing this to try to look like I am twenty years old...not going to happen. It's going to get hot soon and I am concerned about skin problems and basically friction and chaffing. I call it as it is.  There is no other nice way to describe this.